okay everyone, I know it's frustrating, I've been calling att for 3 days and talked to many people, the service people even got to the point where they were asking if I was the one who had called earlier or the day before. I finally got someone in west US tech support that looked through the settings and was like well I can't guarantee it'll work and we don't offter support for it but I'll do it and SWIRLY WORKS!
my settings are
MMSC: mmsc.cingular.com
proxy: 066:209:011:032
I explained to them I know it's not supposed to work but I have a program and yes it's a third party when they ask. Some of them right off say we can't do anything for those, I actually got someone with a jailbroken phone and was excited to help. I explained my friend has it working on theres and he got someone to enable something somewhere for MMS and his works so can you keep trying on mine. Good luck gusy!!